Ashley J. Williams - Bruce Campbell! As if this poor bastard
hasn't suffered enough already, he's now stuck in medieval England. First he's taken prisoner and
nearly killed when shoved into a pit full of Deadites, then he has to battle an army of skeletons led by
Evil Ash. Luckily our hero wins the day and is sent back to the present time... or is he?!
Linda - Bridget Fonda! Ash's original love interest who is seen briefly during the film's opening scenes.
Sheila - Ash's medieval main squeeze. First she wants to kill him, then she wants to kiss him after she becomes
a Deadite. Luckily she returns to normal after the titular Army of Darkness is defeated.
Evil Ash - Bruce Campbell! The resulting clone after Ash swallows a miniature
version of himself. Evil Ash looks just like his "good" counterpart, that is until he's shot in the face
with a shotgun, dismembered with a chainsaw, and buried. A bolt of lightning brings Evil Ash back
to life and he proceeds to build an army of the dead.
The Mini-Ashes - Lilliputian versions of Ash that pop out of some broken mirror shards. These tiny terrors
get the best of our hero and manage to force one of their own down Ash's throat, resulting in the eventual "birth" of Evil
Ash.
Lord Arthur - King Arthur perhaps? If he is, then he still hasn't received Excalibur, or
started the Knights of the Roundtable, and sort of sucks at being a king.
Duke Henry the Red - Previously an enemy of Lord Arthur and his people, Henry
charges in at the last minute and helps mop up the remaining undead soldiers.
The "Primitive Screw-Heads" - The "term of endearment" that Ash bestows upon Arthur's loyal subjects.
Most flee before the film's climactic battle, but those that stay behind fight courageously.
The Deadites - The rotting corpses, moldy skeletal warriors, and demonically possessed humans that make up
the Army of Darkness. The Deadites are routed in battle by the courage of Arthur and Duke Henry's men, coupled with Ash's
(ridiculously) amazing scientific knowledge!
It's been a while since I revisited Army of Darkness,
and I nearly forgot how much fun this movie truly is. In preparing to write this review, I ended up watching this movie three
consecutive times! To say the least, Army of Darkness is a very
ambitious film and one hell of a ride, especially for those who are watching it for the first time. (Yes, believe it or
not, there are actually people out there that haven't seen this cinematic gem.)
The film starts out with Ash as a prisoner, simply because he ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time. (And by wrong
time, I mean about 1300 A.D.) After sending the embodiment of pure evil into a cross-dimensional wormhole (in a slightly altered
opening that picks up where Evil Dead II left off), Ash finds himself
trapped in medieval England as a prisoner of Lord Arthur (a nod to King Arthur perhaps?), who believes that Ash is an
enemy soldier.
Eventually Ash, Duke Henry, and several other captives are brought to Arthur's castle, where they are all sentenced to be thrown into
"the pit." The first guy that's tossed in becomes a veritable geyser of blood. This shakes up another of Henry's men, who
attempts to escape, only to get an arrow to the back. So who's next in line? Well Ash of course! Though he pleads for his
life and declares that he doesn't even know Duke Henry, Ash is sent reeling into the pit (thanks to a stone thrown by
Sheila). Within the pit, Ash battles two bloodthirsty Deadites. Things look bleak for our hero until King Arthur's mystical
wiseman tosses Ash his trademark chainsaw.
Ash makes short work of his undead foes, and manages to escape the pit of death. Once he's free, Ash uses his "boomstick" to
quickly become the alpha male in the castle. As a reward for his amazing testosterone-fueled performance, Ash is treated
like royalty and he eats up the attention that is given to him. And this is one of my favorite things about Army of Darkness:
Ash is a total jerk! He's a liar, a braggart, a womanizer, and on several occasions, a complete coward, but
when it comes to fighting evil, he is the man for the job!
I've actually read (and heard) people say that they disliked this film on the grounds that "It
was hard to root for Ash because he was a complete jerk." Had I been in Ash's shoes, I think I would've been a bit
abrasive myself, especially after fighting for my life (and soul) against demons, killing and dismembering demonically possessed
friends and loved ones, and being sucked back in time. If you ask me, Ash has more than earned the right to let off some steam.
In any case, Ash wants to get back to his dull life as an S-Mart employee, and the only way to do it is to obtain the dreaded
Necronomicon. Ash is none too happy with the idea of going on a quest for said book, but an attack by a possessed medieval
wench helps him make up his mind. Before going off on his errand, Ash makes himself a robotic hand and later, has a romantic
interlude with Sheila. (There are definite perks to being "the chosen one.")
The following morning, Ash rides off towards an unholy graveyard to retrieve the Necronomicon, and quickly finds himself being
chased by a pesky demonic presence. After falling from his horse (and into the only puddle of water in the forest), Ash runs for his life
and soon finds sanctuary within a derelict windmill. Sensing that he is safe for the moment, Ash relaxes a bit and builds himself
a fire.
As night falls, our hero discovers that he is not alone within the windmill, charges blindly at his unwelcome visitor, and ends up
crashing face first into a mirror. (Where in the hell did that mirror come from?!) Ash gets back on his feet and walks away,
probably confused about what just happened, and fails to notice the army of miniature Bruce Campbell's emerging from the broken
mirror shards. Soon the little demons begin tormenting Ash, who manages to kill several of the tiny terrors in a variety of humorous ways.
During his battle with his mini-clones, Ash is knocked unconscious. He awakens some time later and finds himself tied to
the floor Gulliver's Travels-style, and is force fed a mini-Ash. After ingesting the little bugger, Ash frees
himself from his captors and attempts to vomit up his unwanted companion. When that doesn't work, Ash goes into psycho
mode and guzzles down some boiling hot water to scorch the mini Ash inside.
As Ash revels in the pain he has wrought, he starts scratching an annoying itch on his shoulder. As the itch intensifies, Ash
checks his shoulder and discovers that something is growing on him! That something turns out to be an abusive carbon copy of
Ash, henceforth known as Evil Ash. The evil clone beats up on Ash (because he's a "goody two-shoes") until "good Ash" gets fed up
and blasts his dastardly doppelganger in the face with his trusty boomstick.
This scene features one of my favorite one liners, namely "Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun." Sadly, this great line is not
in the director's cut, of Army of Darkness, and is instead replaced
with the far less catchy, "I ain't that good." Not content with just filling his evil double's face with buckshot, Ash completely
dismembers Evil Ash, and buries him in a shallow grave.
With that chore accomplished, Ash rides off on his steed to claim the Necronomicon, which is located in an ancient graveyard.
But this won't be an easy task for there are three books resting within the graveyard, two of which are booby-trapped.
The first turns out to be a miniature (chin-stretching) black hole that Ash narrowly escapes, and the second book comes alive and begins attacking
poor Ash. He fends off the tenacious tome and realizes through the process of elimination that the third book just has
to be the real one.
Ash reaches for the Necronomicon but stops himself because he has to say a special magical phrase ("Klaatu barada nikto!")
before taking the book. Naturally Ash doesn't recall the entire phrase, so he attempts to bullsh*t his way through it.
("Klaatu! Barada! Nik-cough cough! Ok then. That's it!") Thinking all is said and done, Ash takes the
book, and awakens the feared Army of Darkness from its centuries of slumber.
Ash arrives back at Arthur's castle and reveals that he has screwed up royally. Despite the fact that he's put Arthur and his
people in grave danger, Ash wants to get back home. Even Sheila can't seem to change his mind and is crushed
that her hero/lover is such a coward. However, Ash's mind is changed after a winged Deadite flies into the castle's
courtyard and snatches Sheila. Enraged that his medieval piece of ass has been kidnapped, Ash instantly morphs from a
cowardly braggart into a bumbling hero that everyone can rely on.
This of course leads to a hilarious montage of Ash and his medieval allies prepping for the upcoming battle. Utilizing some
books he had in the trunk of his car, Ash creates gunpowder, and builds his wrecked car into a steam-powered machine of death
and destruction. (a.k.a. The Death Coaster!) In the meantime, Evil Ash has returned and is quite literally digging up an army
of his own. With "Deadite Sheila" at his side, and an army of skeletons at his command, Evil Ash descends upon Lord Arthur's
castle.
Though the Ash and his companions have technologically superior weaponry, Evil Ash has the numbers. Despite suffering heavy losses,
the army of darkness manages to bludgeon its way through the castle's defenses. As the battle rages throughout the walls and
courtyards of the castle keep, Ash squares off against his rotting counterpart. Ash manages to keep his undead twin from
obtaining the Necronomicon, until Sheila jumps into the fray. She tries to kill Ash but he turns the tables on her, and
sends her falling to her death.
Things continue to look bleak for the beleaguered defenders, but the tide quickly changes once Duke Henry arrives with a
large force of cavalry. As they clean up the remaining skeleton army, Ash has his final confrontation with Evil Ash. With
a bit of luck and some quick thinking, Ash retrieves the Necronomicon and simultaneously turns Evil Ash into a Fourth of July party favor.
So in the end, good triumphs over evil: The Deadites have been routed, Lord Arthur and Duke Henry have joined together to
form one kingdom, Sheila is alive and well (despite falling to her demise after being impaled on a spear), and Ash is
going to return to his own time. Now at this point, depending on which version of Army of Darkness
you are watching, one of two things will happen.
At the end of the theatrical cut, Ash does indeed return to his own time but due to some flubbed incantations (how friggin' hard
is it to remember "Klaatu barada nikto?!") the Deadites have followed him back. The last scene involves Ash battling a
possessed shopper at S-Mart. Then there's the original "Rip Van Winkle Ending" as I call it, where Ash is to take six
drops of a magic potion.
Each drop will cause him to sleep a full century, until he finally awakens at the proper time. While taking the potion, Ash gets
distracted and he ends up taking one drop too many. When he wakes up, he finds himself standing amidst a post-apocalyptic landscape
in London, England. Though this ending is quite bleak, I think it’s a superb way to end the adventures of Ash.
Army of Darkness is easily the best looking of the Evil Dead films,
which isn't too surprising since it had a much larger budget than the two previous entries. Because Sam Raimi had roughly eleven million
dollars to work with, this movie was blessed with better effects than the preceding films as well as a fantastic cast, and
a wonderful score by Joseph LoDuca (and Danny Elfman).
This movie is a total blast to watch (definitely a great party movie) and I truthfully never get tired of Ash's medieval antics.
I pretty much don't have any major complaints about this movie at all, except for one thing. Why isn't there one
definitive version of Army of Darkness?! Couldn't Raimi have shot some
extra footage so that both endings could somehow be integrated?
For example, let's say the original (post-apocalyptic) ending was just a bizarre daydream Ash was having while working at S-Mart, just before
he battles the demonic she-bitch. Heck, they could have even gone the opposite direction and had the theatrical "S-Mart Ending"
be a dream Ash was having while he was sleeping for seven centuries. Either way, I and many other fans would have been sated
and would never have had to buy multiple editions of this great cult film on DVD. (Thank you for raping our wallets repeatedly Anchor Bay.)
That small gripe aside, I truly love this film; it's one of my favorite cult flicks and I can watch it just about any old
time. I highly recommend Army of Darkness, and if you haven't seen it
yet, you are truly missing out on a good time! Get this movie, grab some brew, order some pizza, and invite your buddies
over for some Bruce Campbell goodness!
So how radioactive is this cult classic?"
Geiger Counter Reading:
- FOUR 'RADS' -
WARNING: This movie is very radioactive! Bruce Campbell
is a b-movie god, and when he joins forces with Sam Raimi, cinematic
gold is forged. See this movie or I'll swallow your soul!
Ash: "Shop smart. Shop S-Mart."
Ash: "Yo she-bitch. Let's go."
Ash: "Groovy."
Ash: "Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun."
Ash: "Klaatu barada ni... necktie... nectar... nickel. It's an 'N' word... definitely
an 'N' word... definitely an 'N' word!"
Ash: "Keep your damn filthy bones outta my mouth."
(Vault Master's comment: Charlton Heston would be proud!)
Possessed Sheila: "You found me beautiful once."
Ash: "Honey, you got real ugly."
Lord Arthur: "We are deserted!"
(Vault Master's comment: I lost track of how many times Lord Arthur utters this during the final battle.)
(Note: The textual commentary below is for the director's cut of Army of Darkness.)
- Beginning - "My name is Ash and I am a slave."
- 1 minute - Hahahaha. "Shop smart, shop S-Mart."
- 2 3/4 minutes - You can clearly see the wire and harness Ash is dangling on.
- 10 1/4 minutes - Blood geyser!
- 16 minutes - That "your shoes are untied" gag is timeless... literally.
- 18 minutes - Hey! Where'd Ash get his gun?! He didn't have it before...
- 22 minutes - "Yo she bitch. Let's go."
- 22 4/5 minutes - Ash builds his "mechani-hand."
- 25 minutes - Ash's sultry love scene with Sheila.
- 29 1/4 minutes - Ash falls into the only puddle of water in this particular forest. Just like
he did in Evil Dead II!
- 34 ½ minutes - A miniature Ash is literally turned into ashes.
- 38 minutes - So... which Ash is the good one?
- 44 minutes - If Chins Could Kill! Hahahaha.
- 60 1/4 minutes - Ash conveniently has a Chemistry 101 text book and a Steam Plant Operation
guide in his trunk! Hahaha!
- 63 3/4 minutes - Evil Ash checks himself out in a mirror.
- 72 ½ minutes - "Say hello to the 21st Century!"
- 75 ½ minutes - Hahahaha. Ash uses the backbreaker on a skeletal warrior.
- 82 ½ minutes - Evil Ash breaths fire? What the hell?!
- 84 3/4 minutes - Sheila survives and remains unscathed even though she was impaled on a
spear and dropped to her apparent death only minutes ago.
- 88 ½ minutes - ASH YOU IDIOT! THAT WAS SEVEN DROPS! ::smacks forehead::
- 90 1/4 minutes - Ash awakens to find London, England in shambles.
- 90 ½+ minutes - The End Credits.
LEAVE YOUR OWN COMMENTS ABOUT THIS MOVIE IN...
And feel free to e-mail me at vault_master[at]bmoviefilmvault[dot]com if you have any
questions, personal recommendations, or information about the films reviewed here on the site! Don't be shy! Your
feedback helps make The Vault better!
Review posted on January 16, 2003.
(Review last updated on November 23, 2009.)
|
| Movies Unlimited (BD)
