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Read my review for 'Arena (1989)!'
Read my review for 'The Beast of Hollow Mountain (1956)!'
Read my review for 'Beware! The Blob (1972)!'
Read my review for 'The Fog (1980)!'
Read my review for 'The Monster Squad (1987)!'
Read my review for 'Transformers: The Movie (1986)!'
Read my review for 'The Valley of Gwangi (1969)!'
Click on a thumbnail to view any of these extremely popular cult movie reviews!


The B-Movie Film Vault Archives currently contain 20 full-length reviews!

[#] [A] [B] [C] [D] [E] [F] [G] [H] [I] [J] [K] [L] [M] [N] [O] [P] [Q] [R] [S] [T] [U] [V] [W] [X] [Y] [Z]
[Rating System]


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A
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Alien Predators (1987)
Three American tourists and a NASA scientist battle aliens in the creepy little town of Duarde, Spain.
Alien vs. Predator (2004)
Two vicious alien species duke it out in a secret underground temple in the Antarctic. Naturally some unlucky humans get caught between the warring factions and must find a way to survive the onslaught. [This was my contribution to the VS. Roundtable.]
The Alligator People (1959)
A woman searches for her missing husband at a strange mansion in the Louisiana bayou, only to find that he's mutating into an alligator! The main attraction in this film is Lon Chaney Jr.'s performance as a hook-handed drunk that hates alligators and women!
The Ape (1940)
Boris Karloff stars as a mad scientist who prowls at night in a gorilla costume, in search of spinal fluid for his experiments.
Arena (1989)
Young Steve Armstrong attempts to become an intergalactic boxing champion! Does this puny human have what it takes to go the distance against alien beings?! [Part of the Boxing of the Future Team Up with the KO Picture Show.]


B
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The Beast of Hollow Mountain (1956)
A carnivorous dinosaur gives an American cowboy and his Mexican neighbors some grief in this grand-daddy of all dino-western films!
Beware! The Blob (1972)
This is the embarrassing sequel to 1958 classic The Blob! The man-eating slime from outer space devours the denizens of a small town until it is frozen on an ice-skating rink. [This review is part of the BLOB FAMILY PICNIC roundtable!]


C
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D
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The Dungeonmaster (1985)
A computer nerd uses his technical know-how (and handy supercomputer) to defeat Satan in mortal combat!


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F
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The Fog (1980)
John Carpenter's creepy supernatural classic! A small seaside village is blanketed by an eerie fog full of vengeful ghosts!
Frankenstein vs. the Creature from Blood Cove (2005)
William Winckler's loving homage to classic creature films from the 1950s! Frankenstein's Monster is once again resurrected and dukes it out with a rampaging, biogenetically engineered Gillman!


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I
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Infra-Man (1975)
When Princess Dragon Mom appears and threatens the existence of humanity, only a kung-fu fighting cyborg called "Infra-Man" can stop her and her army of monsters from conquering the world!
Island Claws (1980)
The residents of a small Floridian isle find themselves under attack by legions of angry crabs and one, giant, roaring crab-monster. (This review is part of the B-Movie Beach Party Mega-Roundtable.)


J
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The Johnsons (1992)
Movies don't get much weirder than this! Seven evil sons must impregnate their sister. The resulting offspring is prophesied to be an ancient Amazonian god that will destroy the world!


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M
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The Monster Squad (1987)
A group of misfit kids puts their courage (and monster knowledge) to the test when their small town is invaded by Dracula, a Wolfman, a Mummy, a Gillman, and Frankenstein's Monster!
My Bloody Valentine (1981)
The tiny Canadian town of Valentine Bluffs is terrorized by a pick-axe wielding killer that hates Valentine's Day.


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O
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P
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Q
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S
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Space Amoeba (1970)
An alien entity hitches a ride on an unmanned space probe that falls to Earth. The evil "space amoeba" lands near a tropical paradise and begins terrorizing the natives by mutating various sea creatures into giant monsters! (This review is part of the B-Movie Beach Party Mega-Roundtable.)


T
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Transformers: The Movie (1986)
Optimus Prime and the brave Autobots continue their battle against Megatron and the evil Decepticons. Unbeknownst to both sides, they will soon have to fight for their lives against a planet-eating entity named Unicron! [This is my contribution to the "Reviewers in Disguise" team-up with Badmovies.Org! Read Andrew's review HERE!]


U
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Uninvited (1988)
A group of people on a luxury yacht are terrorized by a venomous mutant cat puppet in this "so bad it's good" schlockfest.


V
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The Valley of Gwangi (1969)
Cowboys attempt to capture prehistoric monsters from "The Forbidden Valley" in order to gain a profit. Naturally things go wrong and soon, a very aggressive (and hungry) Tyrannosaurus(?) is on the loose! Ray Harryhausen rules!


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Y
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Yor, The Hunter from the Future (1983)

In this delightfully cheesy Italian post-apocalyptic fantasy adventure, a blonde warrior (Reb Brown) battles his way across a world full of dinosaurs, cavepeople, and robots in his quest to discover his true identity.



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My Rating System: The b-movies and cult films reviewed here at the Vault are rated according to their "radioactivity." The more radioactive a film is, the better it is! Anything that doesn't cause you to glow in the dark or mutate is probably not worth watching, but then again, to be a well-rounded b-movie enthusiast, you have to watch bad movies from time to time.

RatingMeasurement on the Geiger CounterIn Other Words...
Highly Radioactive! You may grow a new appendage primarily used to rewind a movie of this caliber, over and over again!
This movie is the best of the best! Tons of fun and highly rewatchable!
Very Radioactive! May cause you to grow a third eye, thus making your viewing experience even more enjoyable!
This movie makes for a worthwhile viewing experience.
Radioactive! The T.V. will bask in your glow!
This movie is a good way to kill some time on a boring evening or rainy afternoon.
Somewhat Radioactive. More radiation and enjoyment can be had by sticking your head in a microwave at ten second intervals. [Note: Doing so is, in reality, hazardous to your health! Don't try it at home kids!]
This movie is a waste of your precious time. Still, it probably has a few redeeming qualities...
Partially Radioactive. Hardly any detectable amounts of radiation. [You'll find more radioactivity in a septic tank, which is where these types of movies belong!]
OUCH! This movie is painful to watch; may cause medical problems.
Hardly Radioactive. A brief blip on the geiger counter that is usually ignored for the betterment of humanity.
This rating is usually used in conjunction with others, however, if a film registers at only a "half-rad" then dispose of it immediately or suffer the consequences!
Not Radioactive. Since our geiger counters can't detect these flicks, many still hide in obscurity to this day. That's probably for the best.
Certain death awaits all who watch this! Ye have been warned!

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