Master Sergeant Sam Harper - A soldier in the Gulf War whose helicopter was shot down by "friendly fire." Five years after his disappearance, his body is found but it turns out that Sam is now an undead uber-patriot. After dressing in an Uncle Sam costume, this villainous zombie goes around his hometown, slaying flag burners, tax cheats, and corrupt politicians. At the film's grand finale, Sam is blown to smithereens with an authentic cannon!

Jesse, Rick, and Clete - These rowdy teens party in a graveyard and spray paint the gravestones of war veterans and burn an American flag. (Jesse also publicly mocks America's National Anthem.) The punishment for these unpatriotic acts? Jesse is decapitated with a meat cleaver, Rick is buried alive, and Clete is hung by his neck from a flagpole.

Before I begin, I have to admit that I really wanted to love Uncle Sam because I'm a big fan of the film's director, William "Call me Bill" Lustig. I first watched this movie after I got a free Uncle Sam DVD at Mondo Movie Night 5. On that fateful night, I actually met director Bill Lustig in person before seeing two of his other films on the big screen, namely Maniac Cop and Maniac Cop 2. Once I got home the following day, I popped Uncle Sam into my DVD player, anxious to see what Bill (and writer Larry Cohen) had in store for me. Needless to say... I couldn't believe that a man whom I had respected so much; whose previous films seemed so phenomenal, had made such a terrible movie!

Uncle Sam begins in the deserts of Kuwait where the wreckage of a helicopter has been discovered. Two soldiers (one of which is played by William Smith) arrive on the scene and are promptly killed by a seemingly deceased soldier within the cockpit. The undead soldier turns out to be Master Sergeant Sam Harper, who's crispy corpse is soon shipped to his hometown of Twin Rivers. Sam's steel coffin is placed within the home of his widow, Louise Harper, who we later learn is actually glad that her hubby is deceased.

Also in the house is Louise's twisted little son, Jody who is portrayed by Christopher Ogden, easily one of the worst child actors of all time. Jody has an obsession with the military and constantly vows to join the Army once he's old enough, and having his Uncle Sam's coffin sitting downstairs is like a natural high for this kid. And for some reason, Sam's sister Sally Baker is constantly at Louise's house, so often in fact that I actually thought she lived there!

For the first half hour or so, these three characters and numerous supporting characters get all of the screen time. And that's probably the movie's biggest fault: It spends so much time introducing us to an entire town that we almost forget that we're watching a (for all intensive purposes) supernatural revenge tale. I'm sure that you're already wondering when Sam leaps out of his coffin and begins his patriotic killing spree. Well good ole Sam finally manages to bag his first victim about forty-two minutes into the movie!

Sam Harper's first victim is a peeping-tom that's striding around on stilts and dressed in an Uncle Sam outfit. Sam cuts this guy down to size with a pair of hedge clippers and steals the voyeur's patriotic costume. (Egads, the "irony!" Jody's uncle Sam is now dressed as America's Uncle Sam!) Decked out in his newfound disguise, Sam makes his way to the town's graveyard where several teenage delinquents are partying, namely Jesse, Frank, and Clete.

After a night of spray painting the graves of war veterans and burning an American flag, these guys decide to head home. Naturally they don't all leave together, which makes it easy for Uncle Sam to pick off Frank and Clete. Frank is knocked into an open grave (which was intended for Sam's burial) and is buried alive. Clete ends up getting hung from a flagpole when he goes back to see if Frank is all right. Jesse, for the moment, has escaped death, but he'll get his comeuppance the following day at Twin Waters' Fourth of July celebration.

Speaking of which, the town's festivities pretty much take up the remainder of the film and Sam easily gets away with a slew of murders during the Fourth of July jubilee. Mr. Crandall, a local teacher and conscientious objector during the Vietnam War years, gets a hatchet to the skull; Sally's boyfriend Ralph, a sleazy lawyer who brags openly about outwitting the IRS, is shot in the head with an air rifle; Jesse, whom escaped death earlier in the film, is beheaded with a meat cleaver for mocking the National Anthem.

Now this is a pretty impressive body count but sadly the deaths aren't all that grand. In fact, every murder in this film is fairly bloodless and usually happens off-screen. (Which really makes the film's R-rating seem moot.) During Uncle Sam's silent rampage, Bill Lustig gives humanity one of the most random and highly entertaining film sequences of all time: A potato sack race! But this isn't your average, ordinary fun-for-the-whole-family sack race... it's DEATH SACK RACE 2000! During the race, Jesse tries to cheat his way to the finish line by taking out all the other sack racers.

Small children and adults alike are shoved out of the way and some even get a swift kick to the stomach, courtesy of Jesse. But what goes around comes around my friends, because somehow Jesse manages to get lost during the race and ends up hopping through an orange grove where he runs into Sam. Jesse is then decapitated with a huge meat cleaver, and once again, the kill is heavily edited and rather bloodless. (This jerk's head is lopped off and there's no arterial spray from his bloody neck stump?! I demand satisfaction!)

In the meantime, Vietnam war vet Jed Crowley (Isaac Hayes!) is... well... making regular appearances on the screen. Sadly, Jed doesn't have much to do in this film, aside from trying to steer Jody clear of any future dreams of military service. But that all changes once he teams up with Jody and Barry, a blind, wheelchair-bound child. After a very much disliked congressman is turned into a giant party favor (Robert Forster in a small role), Jed and his two young companions rush to Jody's house to make sure Sam is in his rightful place. (Jed is obviously skeptical and needs some visual proof that "Uncle Sam" Harper is strolling around town and murdering people.)

Of course, when they arrive at Jody's house, they discover that Sam isn't in the coffin. Instead, the corpse of Sgt. Twining (Bo Hopkins!) is within the steel box. (On a side note, Sgt. Twining deserved everything he got. The man made a semi-career out of screwing the grieving widows of dead soldiers!) Just as Jed and the kids are leaving the house, a very worried and confused Louise Harper shows up. Jed tells the children to stay with her, but naturally the kids want to come along and do their part as red-blooded American brats.

They drive to Louise's house (I guess Sally and Louise are participating in a local "trading spaces" project?) and find a very shaken (and gun-toting) Sally. While the kids console Sally a bit, Jed investigates the kitchen and discovers an Uncle Sam mask. Suddenly, the rotting, walking, talking corpse of Sam Harper appears and bitch slaps Chef... ahm... I mean Jed, into the next room and through some shelving. Sally, still armed with a pistol, pumps several rounds into Sam but with no effect.

To stop the possible carnage, Jody steps forward and distracts his uncle Sam. Jed and the others flee the house while Jody goes into full psycho mode. (The kid wants to be just like his patriotic uncle and isn't afraid to die to be just like Sam... or does he?) Meanwhile, Jed drives to the center of town and steals an authentic working cannon and speeds back to the house with it. (Sam has been through a helicopter crash, five years of harsh desert weather, and has just taken five bullets to the chest, so what good will a cannon do?)

Back inside, Jody talks Sam into walking outside with him saying, "I want everyone to see us together. I want to show them that I'm not afraid." Sam willingly strolls outside with Jody and doesn't seem to notice Jed standing out by the street with a readied cannon. Jody signals Jed to light the wick, and runs to safety. (Drats!) Sam takes a cannonball to the chest and is thrown backwards into the house and engulfed by a huge explosion. Victory seems definite for Jed and the kids until Sam comes tromping out of the flames. Jed quickly readies the cannon once again and fires another shot that officially ends Sam's brief reign of terror. As the movie ends, we see Jody outside in his backyard, burning all of his army toys in a trash can. I guess all it takes sometimes is a murderous zombie attack to set some kids straight.

Film Review: Uncle Sam is a bad movie, through and through, and was a bit of a struggle for me to watch. The main problem with the film (and director William Lustig admits this in the director's commentary) is that it's pacing is so painfully slow. It's nice to see a film that's chock full of character development, but that's not what anyone really wants in a movie like this. The film would've played a lot better if Sam Harper was the actual focus of the story and had more screen time. However, the story mainly revolves around Jody's patriotic obsession with the military, and the attempts of his peers to try and curb his lifelong dream.

Another problem I had with this movie was the total lack of blood, guts, and gore. The film is rated R, but the majority of the deaths occur off-screen. Those we do get to see are pretty uninspired and bloodless, and that really drags this movie down. The main reason people will want to rent (or buy) this movie is to see Uncle Sam, one of America's most notable patriotic symbols, hack and slash his way through scores of two-dimensional characters. Instead of delivering what could have been an extremely fun exploitation film, Lustig and company give us a watered-down horror flick that would be right at home on the Lifetime channel.

Another problem with Uncle Sam is the casting of Christopher Ogden as Jody Baker. He just didn't have the acting ability to pull off the role of a slightly disturbed prepubescent child, and don't even get me started on how poorly he delivered most of his lines. So I think I've made my point that this movie is bad, but let me tell you why I didn't give it my lowest rating. Despite the strikes against this movie, I did have some fun watching it. (Especially with the audio commentary on.) The infamous potato sack race sequence alone is reason enough to pop this into your DVD player, and the screen presence of multiple cult movie icons (e.g. Isaac Hayes, P.J. Soles, William Smith, Robert Forster, et al.) helps make things more bearable.

If you're looking for a good supernatural revenge tale, then look elsewhere. William Lustig and his buddy Larry Cohen, have done much better films with similar subject matter. (i.e. The Maniac Cop trilogy). But if you're a glutton for punishment, love any and all zombie films, and/or just have a deep infatuation for the films of Bill Lustig, then by all means, watch Uncle Sam.

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So how radioactive is this patriotic horror flick?

Geiger Counter Reading:

- TWO 'RADS' -

WARNING: This movie is somewhat radioactive!
Bad acting, cheap makeup effects, and a snail's pace
make this movie a chore to sit through. Hang in there though,
because that potato sack race sequence is insanely entertaining!

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DVD Review: Uncle Sam has gotten the royal treatment from Blue Underground. (Not surprising since Bill Lustig is the head of BU.) The film is featured in its original 2.35:1 widescreen ratio (enhanced for 16 x 9 TVs) with both Dolby 2.0 and Dolby Digital 5.1 surround sound. The disc is rounded out with a good number of extras, including two audio commentaries, a Fire Stunts feature with audio commentary by stunt coordinator Spiro Razatos, the original theatrical trailer, and two image galleries. And as always, this disc is Region 0, so it is playable worldwide!

The first audio commentary on the disc includes director Bill Lustig, his friend and screenwriter Larry Cohen, and Producer George C. Braunstein; the second commentary was recorded in 1998 and features Lustig and Star Isaac Hayes. I haven't listened to the second commentary just yet, but the first one is fantastic. Lustig and friends know that they have made a bad movie and gladly take a few jabs at it while sharing anecdotes about the making of the film. As far as audio commentaries go, this is one of the best I've ever listened to while watching a movie.

Uncle Sam is currently going for anywhere between $17.99 and $19.99. Even though a lot of tender loving care was given to this b-flick, I think that this disc is a bit too pricy. If you have your heart set on purchasing this movie, be sure to shop around.

Sam: "Don't be afraid. It's only friendly fire."
(Reviewer's Note: Hahahahaha. Great line delivery here. The seemingly dead, and very crispy Sam Harper utters this line after murdering two American soldiers who come to investigate the discovery of his downed helicopter.)

Jody: "When I'm grown up, I'm going in the army just like Sam did. And I'll do whatever the President says to do, because he knows better."
(Reviewer's Note: Ok, first off this kid is a terrible actor! Bill, what were you thinking?! Secondly... I suppose Jody never met George W. Bush?)

Jody: "I'm not watching T.V. I'm in mourning."
(Reviewer's Note: Why?! Did they cancel your favorite cartoon show or something?!)

Jed: "I suppose you found it quite amusing when that boy went up there and made mockery of the National Anthem. Your kind of humor."
Ralph: "Hell it's a lousy song. Nobody can remember the words. I'll give you fifty bucks if you can recite all the words without makin' a single mistake. See? You can't do it. Nobody can do it."
(Reviewer's Note: The look on Isaac Hayes' face is priceless when his co-star says that the National Anthem is "a lousy song." Personally, I agree with the latter part of Ralph's smarmy comment, because I truthfully cannot recite the entire National Anthem without making a mistake! Can you?!)

• Beginning - "Don't be afraid. It's only friendly fire."
• 7:47 - If only this kid bled to death from that cut on his foot!
• 18:00 - Way to go kid, you've hurt Mr. Crandall's feelings!
• 25:50 - "I'm not watching T.V. I'm in mourning."
• 33:40 - So all of America's military heroes were completely insane killing machines?
• 39:42 - It turns out that Uncle Sam, one of America's most patriotic symbols, is just a dirty old man and peeping-tom!
• 40:30 - Woohoo! Gratuitous nudity!
• 42:44 - Hedge clippers are great for murdering voyeurs and for hemming pants!
• 43:28 - Hahahahaha! Death by spray paint?!
• 47:08 - What a fun and festive way to celebrate the 4th of July!
• 48:56 - Whoops! Mr. Crandall had an axe-ident! Hehehe.
• 52:56 - Jesse mocks the National Anthem...
• 53:11 - and then he pulls down his pants and shows the crowd his silk boxer shorts!
• 57:24 - Damn! Those ribs look delicious!
• 59:04 - Bill Lustig's DEATH SACK-RACE 2000!
• 61:13 - Sam decapitates Jesse with a cleaver.
• 61:18 - Either Sam just finished a blue raspberry lollipop or he's part giraffe. Check out his tongue!
• 73:08 - Wait a minute... this dialogue was cribbed from Maniac Cop 2!
• 81:55 - Isaac Hayes blasts Sam with a cannon!
• 85:19 - For Lucio [Fulci]
• 85:23 - The End Credits.
• 88:55 - OUCH! A stuntman on stilts takes a nasty spill!

Recommended Viewing:

• The only other movie that I can think of, where a zombified soldier comes home and causes some carnage is 1974's Deathdream, which was directed by the late (and great) Bob Clark.
  
  
• Bill Lustig and Larry Cohen have worked together on several films, most notably the Maniac Cop series, which featured an undead cop that terrorizes the populace of New York in his quest for revenge. This awesome series is made up of Maniac Cop (1988), Maniac Cop 2 (1990), and Maniac Cop III: Badge of Silence (1993).
  
  
• Screenwriter Larry Cohen is no stranger to the b-movie universe. Some of his more notable directorial efforts include Q: The Winged Serpent (1982), The Stuff (1985), the It's Alive trilogy (1974/1978/1987), and God Told Me To (1976).

Useless Trivia:

• Uncle Sam is dedicated to the late "Godfather of Gore," Lucio Fulci. Also, the (somewhat ambiguous) ending of Uncle Sam is an homage to the conclusion of Fulci's 1980 shocker, City of the Living Dead.
  
  
• A 3-D lenticular poster was created for Uncle Sam, but allegedly only ten were ever made. The posters showed four versions of Uncle Sam changing from an old man into a ghoul.
  
  
• Because of this film, the citizens of La Verne, California have rejected all future requests to have movies filmed in their town. This is due to the fact that the big explosion at the film's finale was shot at 2:00 AM without giving the neighbors (or local authorities) a heads up. The resulting explosion was also more powerful than expected and blew out the windows of the surrounding houses. (Whoops!)
  
  
• As of my writing this, Uncle Sam is the last film that William Lustig has directed.
  
  

Download(s):

• DOWNLOAD "Desert Storm" - by William Smith
  Filesize: 3.33 MB | Length: 1:27 | Bitrate: 320 kbps
  To download this poem, right click on the link and click on "Save Target As."
  
  
  
• "Desert Storm" by William Smith
  I am the marine on the border of Kuwait,
  I am the soldier, only God knows my fate.
  I'm the sailor in a sea where I might die,
  I am the pilot, breathing hell from the sky.
  
  Twenty years ago, I was born in the U.S.A.,
  I got sent to the Desert Storm, one August day.
  I'm young and scared, but still full of pride,
  I'm an American, and right is on my side.
  
  Grand-dad served Old Glory in World War number two,
  And I'm still defending the red, white, and blue.
  Not one drop of blood is worth the oil in Kuwait,
  I might kill a man, I don't know enough to hate.
  
  Hell I don't even know if I'm going to win,
  But I still believe that freedom's not a sin.
  The soldiers of Iraq are waitin' there to die,
  Both sides are still screamin' the same warrior's cry.
  Why? Why? Why?
  
  I am the marine on the border of Kuwait,
  I am the soldier, only God knows my fate.
  I'm the sailor in a sea where I might die,
  And I am the pilot, breathing hell from the sky.
  

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Review posted April 24, 2005.
(Review last updated on July 3, 2008.)

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