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FIVE OVER-HYPED FILMS WHOSE POPULARITY BOGGLES MY MIND! Hype is nothing new; we experience it and endure it daily. Every time we pick up a newspaper, or visit a website, or turn on a radio or television, we are assaulted by commercials that aim to heighten our expectations for food, clothing, video games and of course, movies. While I am now a (very) jaded film buff and can manage to shrug off most "hype-attacks," even I fall into the trap occasionally, only to be severely disapointed by a movie. When this happens, I feel angry as hell that I was duped into seeing something that I just knew would be awful (e.g. Clash of the Titans; Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen), but at the same time, I feel like I should shake the hand of the marketing people for pulling a fast one on me.... after I punch them in the face for tricking me into shelling out over thirty bucks at the movie theater that is. In any case, the HOLLYWOOD HYPE MACHINE (or HHM for short) over the years has gotten bigger, bolder, and more powerful, to the point where it can trick you into seeing just about anything. What's even scarier is that it seems to have evolved to the point where it takes over the minds and wills of close friends, family, and even critics! The end result? A mind-altered victim thinks that they have witnessed a good movie, which they recommend to you, thus beginning a vicious cycle of disappointment. Case in point, my best friend, whose taste in film mirrors my own quite often, suggests one day that I should get a copy of Date Movie because it was hilarious. I picked up a used copy for $5.95 at a local mom and pop video store, then watched it with him (and my girlfriend too I believe) on his insistence. What followed was eighty-five minutes of pure pain. (To this day, my buddy still insists that the film is funny... it is terrifying that the HHM has such a powerful hold on him!) This purely innocent event was just the tip of the iceberg, as over the years, the dreaded HHM had snagged me time and again in various and insidious ways: It has suckered me in with millions of dollars in advertising (Godzilla, which thankfully flopped); it has blatantly lied to me (The Blair Witch Project was touted as "real documentary footage" during its initial run); worst of all, it has baited me in with little "nostalgia treats," offering up new adventures for old iconic characters that I grew up with. (Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and The Star Wars Prequel Trilogy. Damn you to Hell George Lucas!) Bitter about each defeat that I suffered at the hands of the HHM, I have since became a veritable hermit in respect to my theatrical visits. I only go when a movie is playing that I've thoroughly researched (or that I'm dragged to), I try to catch a matinee, and always take the 2D version over the 3D one. ("It's still three bucks extra for each ticket, even if I already have a pair of 3D glasses?!") Still, my attempts at establishing a safety barrier from expertly (and/or over) hyped movies isn't foolproof, and some sneak beneath my iron curtain, including several of the films you are about to read about. The following are five movies that at some point, buried us all under a deluge of internet buzz, bombarded us with ads in every form of print and media known to man, and/or fooled your friends and relatives into suggesting that you should go see it with them. And the worst part of all? These movies are all extremely popular! Why? Well... maybe we can find some answers together. Lets take a look at these "FIVE OVER-HYPED FILMS, WHOSE POPULARITY BOGGLES MY MIND!" 5. Let the Right One In (2008) Method of Hype-ology: Tons of positive internet buzz & misleading action-packed trailer. Percentage of Hype Deserved: 70% Why it boggles my mind: First off its a foreign film and it didn't see wide release in the U.S. Secondly its about vampires, and next to zombies, they are the most overused monsters in cinema these days. It doesn't sound like this movie is a recipe for success, but somehow its garnered loads of positive feedback, a remake, and (as of my writing this) an 8.1 over at IMDB.com. How the hell did a direct-to-DVD title explode into something so damned popular? Now before you start slinging mud and threatening to stake me through the heart, let me explain that I actually think this is a good movie. But that's just it; it's only good. Not great, not fantastic, and most assuredly, not worthy of being remade into Let Me In. (Cripes! They used to wait twenty or thirty years before they remade something, didn't they?!) I think maybe I'm a bit cold towards this film because I had high expectations after reading numerous positive reviews on the web, and seeing the trailer, which makes it look far more exciting than it really is. In reality, this is a beautifully shot film, with an engaging storyline that moves ve-ry slo-wly. On top of that, this tale of friendship (and love) between a young boy and his vampiric neighbor takes place in a universe of robots. Almost everyone in the film acts lifeless and morose, and you wonder if you're heading toward some weird M. Night Shymalan twist where this is all a dream or something; even more so after you see a woman attacked by a pack of angry CGI cats. (CLICK HERE to view this ridiculous scene.) Said "cat attack" is something that I hope has been excised, or at least improved upon in the upcoming remake. This one scene pretty much took me out of the movie and had my friends and I rolling on the floor. Instead of unconvincing CGI, a simple scene with one or two cats (real and animatronic) giving a vampiric character grief, would have been way more effective. As it stands, this one scene really hurts the flow of the movie. But at this point, it really doesn't matter because Let the Right One In has become a juggernaut of sorts. The enormous amount of positive reviews and feedback on the web has helped usher this film in as a "new classic," that is almost immune to bad reviews. (Seriously, some movies just reach a point where folks are almost afraid to say that they didn't like it.) And in a world where people are becoming tired of the recent cultural fixation on sparkly vampires, it is no wonder this particular vamp film has really clicked with everyone. In closing, this is a good movie, but I don't think it has truly deserved all the hype it's gotten, and I wouldn't really recommend it for casual viewers. If you're curious about this one, then by all means, give it a rental, but don't be surprised if it isn't as amazing as you heard it was. 4. Twilight (2008) Method of Hype-ology: Series of poorly written "tween" novels with rabid fan-base. Percentage of Hype Deserved: 20% Why it boggles my mind: Most books take quite some time before they become a big part of pop culture, but somehow Twilight was an instant hit. It wasn't too surprising to see that it would quickly be turned into a series of films, but how in the Hell do these movies make so much damned money?! How can so many worthwhile movies fail to make the grade (e.g. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World) while this tripe continues to rake in dough?! IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! So a one Stephanie Meyer sits down and cranks out a four book "saga" about a girl falling in love with a vampire, then falling for a werewolf, but ultimately staying deeply in love with vampire despite various attempts by other creatures of the night to end her life. Eventually she marries him, becomes pregnant with his super-strong, innards-crushing baby, and then becomes a vampire herself in order to survive the birth of her vampiric baby. (And for anyone angry over the lack of spoiler-alerts here, piss off! This is Twilight for chrissakes, not Shakespeare!) While this actually sounds awesome, the truth is that its not. This is a film based on bad romance novels for thirteen year-old girls, and it really shows. And since these are based on (allegedly) romantic books, where the hell is said romance?! Some may argue that there is legitimate romance contained with the original film (and its sequels) but I challenge that statement. Romance requires a man to do romantic things for the woman he is courting, which ranges from buying her gifts, giving her massages, making her feel wanted and beautiful, and essentially just keeping her happy and making each day as bright as the last. What happens in Twilight? Well, a girl is seduced by an older man (Edward is what, 1,000 years old or some stupid sh*t like that?) who plays with her emotions, stares creepily at her all the time, and consistantly puts her in harms way. Has romance been redefined, and I just don't know it? I'm not going to go into this movie much further, because I already did a capsule review for it during its initial theatrical release. However, I will say that I'm still sort of shocked that it became so damned popular so fast, and has remained in the consciousness of popular culture for so long. Then again, I think it was all luck on Stephanie Meyer's part, as she tapped into a fanbase that somehow went overlooked, and did so at the appropriate time in history, where we as a people don't have too many heroes left to emulate, and parents are just too busy to actually raise their kids. After the release of the "final" Twilight movie, I'm pretty positive that the franchise will just become a footnote in history, while other great works of literature (or at least better ones) will continue to entertain for generations to come. I guess all I have left to say is .... f*ck Twilight and shame on all of you who allowed it to become a pop-culture phenomenon! 3. Paranormal Activity (2007) Method of Hype-ology: Viral marketing & annoying commercials showing "audience reactions.". Percentage of Hype Deserved: 0% Why it boggles my mind: Umm... have we the people learned nothing from the whole Blair Witch Project debacle?! Ok, I appreciate the fact that a handful of folks got together, spent fifteen grand of their money, and made a successful movie, but please explain to me how something this boring became a multi-million dollar hit?! Ok, I admit it, I'm starting to sound like an angry prick. But I think that's justified here because Paranormal Activity was not as scary as was touted by the ads and commercials. In fact, I thought it was pretty damned boring. Yes it had some neat little touches, but you can only watch footage of two people sleeping, while something slightly off-kilter happens in the middle of the night, for so long. Gradually you begin to grow impatient and start riffing on the movie. So how did this snoozefest become so damned popular? I call it the Reverse Blair Witch Effect. What's that? Well let me explain. When Blair Witch Project came out, everyone thought it was real, and the movie made millions. After it was revealed that the film was in fact, not real, the movie lost its edge (and its popularity), became the butt of many a joke, and ushered in literally dozens of knock offs and parodies, ranging from fun and creative (The Clay Witch Project), to titillating (The Bare Wench Project), to utterly stupid (The Bogus Witch Project featuring Pauly Shore). The reason why Paranormal Activity survived and exceeded expectations (in my opinion), was because the marketers didn't bother trying to sell it as a fictional film or a documentary, they just promised you that this movie was scary. And admittedly, some parts in the film do work, and I'll openly tell you that it gave me a few chills up my spine. But it all moves along too slowly, and though it builds up some tension in the final act, the film makers botch everything by delivering a stupid ending. I'm still amazed that this cheap indie production garnered nearly two-hundred million dollars worldwide, but no so much shocked by the eventual arrival of Paranormal Activity 2 which adds a dog and an infant into the mix. Here's hoping that the success of the first movie was just a fluke, and that the second one fails miserably. In summation, this movie belongs on this list because people continue to assure me that this is the scariest movie they've ever seen. Well its not; you are all just victims of the HHM. 2. Avatar (2009) Method of Hype-ology: James Cameron's name. Percentage of Hype Deserved: 40% Why it boggles my mind: It's a cool-looking movie with top notch CGI, but the storyline is hackneyed and Sam Worthington has yet to prove that he's leading man material (even though he's been the leading man of some of the biggest action films of the last few years). And just because it was made by Cameron, raked in billions of dollars worldwide, and ushered in the current 3D renaissance does not make it OSCAR WORTHY! How did a movie with giant blue cat-people that tether their sexual organs to dragons in order to ride them, nearly win Best Picture? After Avatar left theaters, I was probably one of the few people on planet Earth who didn't see it. All I heard about for weeks is how good it was and how amazing the 3D effects were and people actually got excited that it would break box office records. (Why? Its not like us moviegoers reap any benefits from paying to see any of these movies.) Eventually the hoopla died down and Avatar gracefully made its transition to the small screen when it finally hit DVD and Blu-ray. Once it was available for rental (for a dollar a night!) I finally grabbed a copy and watched it. Afterward, I sat there an thought "This nearly won Best Picture?" First of all, the movie's plot is riddled with cliches, and is far from being original. If you've seen Dances With Wolves or even Ferngully: The Last Rainforest then you pretty much don't need to see Avatar. But the script was not the movie's strength by a long shot friends, oh no. The special effects here are the main reason this movie went over so well. James Cameron filmed this in 3D (no iffy 3D post-conversion for the "King of the World!") and took advantage of the technology. This is an all style (almost) no substance effects-driven film, and I really don't see what the big deal is with it. Yes it is visually stunning, but the plot isn't all that great and the CGI is at times, barely on par with video game cut scenes. And why does Sam Worthington keep getting all these lead roles in major blockbusters? He's not a terrible actor or anything, but he isn't very memorable and, for an action movie star, he's pretty damned puny. I hate to say it, but Sam Worthington has no screen presence whatsoever! All in all, this movie is only worth watching once (on the big screen in 3D if possible) and was not all it was cracked up to be. Avatar only became a huge hit because it had some major talent behind the camera lens, and was shot in 3D. Here's hoping Cameron and the scriptwriters learned a thing or two, and decide to make the inevitable sequel a more fulfilling experience. 1. The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) Method of Hype-ology: Huge cult classic status; frequent midnight shows across the country with live actors; every female I know seems to love it. Percentage of Hype Deserved: ? Why it boggles my mind: I can't understand why this is still so popular after 35 friggin' years, and never quite understood how it gained its popularity in the first place. I've watched this multiple times and it has yet to win me over. Do I have to be a woman to enjoy this? A homosexual? A transvestite? WHAT?! TELL MY YOUR SECRETS MOVIE! HA! Threw you a curve ball didn't I? You thought I was only going to focus on recent films, but then I go and choose The Rocky Horror Picture Show as number one on my list! Well let me begin by saying, yes its true everyone: I am not a fan of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Believe me, I've tried to become one, as I've seen this movie (as of my writing this) at least ten times. Aside from some catchy tunes and a few good jokes, I really don't see the appeal here. I'm a big fan of Tim Curry (I think he's a brilliant character actor), but it pains me to see him gyrating around in makeup and a corset, and chasing after Peter Hinwood (Rocky Horror) like a lust-filled teenage girl. I recall watching this on television late one night when I was much younger and being completely perplexed by what was going on. Various questions ran through my pre-adolescent mind, such as "Why was that dude wearing women's clothing?" and "Will that weird-looking redhead (Nell) ever stop delivering that ear-drum shattering shriek/squeal?!" Almost two decades later, I'm still asking myself those same questions, along with "How is this still popular enough to illicit midnight screenings with a live cast in attendance?!" Now don't get me wrong, I don't hate this movie, but I don't get any real entertainment value out of it either. I usually avoid it like the plague; when its on TV, I change the channel. If my girlfriend wants to watch it, I flat-out say "No!" If she persists, I reach for my copy of Troll 2 which usually leads to a brief match of "bad movie brinksmanship" before the topic is dropped and something "safe" is put into the Blu-ray player. Rocky Horror Picture Show has achieved a legendary cult status, and even though I don't care much for it, I do respect it. If you're a fan of this movie, fear not, for I shall not make fun of you or berate you in any way. If anything I should probably look up to you, because you apparently "get it," whereas I cannot. Perhaps one day I can gaze upon it and see what all the hundreds of thousands of adoring fans love about it. Until that day arrives, I'm just going to skip it and indulge in other unsavory cinematic gems. Well that's all I have to say on this matter folks; thank you for reading this article. You may disagree with me on some points, and if you do, feel free to post your thoughts over in the Forum. I'd love to hear what you have to say, and would also like to hear about the films you consider to be incomprehensibly popular and over-hyped. |